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The Fear Of Failure: A Highly Overrated Excuse

Posted on 04. Jan, 2010 by dave in Goal Getting, Leadership, Personal Development

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Seth Godin is one of the most brilliant marketers on the planet. I’m currently reading one of his many bestselling books called ‘Tribes‘ and I am finding it to be one of the most fascinating and exciting books I have read in quite a while. I am absolutely burning my way through it.

Just yesterday I returned home from Montréal. My girlfriend and I were there for a mini-vacation to celebrate the New Year. We had some down time from all of our site seeing during the afternoon on New Years Day, and so I was able to grab some time to dig into the book a little deeper.

I was drawn to re-read a short section entitled ‘Fear of Failure is Overrated’. In just a few paragraphs, Seth considers  one of the most common excuses people  give for not living their true passions in life: the fear failure.

Seth challenges this and suggests that this may be an easy out for too many people and that what more people truly fear is criticism or being judged.

Here’s a Seth Godin one-liner that really struck a chord with me:

‘We choose not to be remarkable because we’re worried about criticism. We hesitate to create innovative movies, launch new human resource initiatives, design a menu that makes diners take notice, or give an audacious sermon because we’re worried, deep down, that someone will hate it and call us on it’.

Take a moment to re-read that quote … does it ring true for you at all? This one hit me … hard.

He suggests that perhaps the fear of criticism is so powerful, because the criticism doesn’t even have to occur for the fear to set in and paralyze us from taking action.

I don’t know about you, but (sometimes) I’ve got this really annoying (and creative) voice in my head that comes up with all sorts of interesting stories about criticism I MIGHT receive for doing something ‘out of the ordinary’ … or, outside of that ‘comfort zone’ that’s so often discussed – especially in the home-based business industry.

So what type of criticism is it that we fear? Here’s the truth – criticism that is specific and constructive can be one of best friends in all aspects of life, and especially as an entrepreneur. When delivered (and received) properly it can help to move us forward and make us better.

But the voice in my head (and maybe yours too) isn’t so worried about this type of criticism. It’s busy coming up with criticism that is both negative and vague. Stuff like, ‘You’re absolutely NUTS for writing that’, or ‘You look funny in that video’. Nobody wants to hear this stuff.

Here’s another Seth Godin pearl to consider:

‘If the only side effect of the criticism is that you will feel bad about the criticism, then you have to compare that bad feeling with the benefits you’ll get from actually doing something worth doing. Being remarkable is exciting, fun, profitable, and great for your career. Feeling bad wears off’.

So … what’s the solution? How do we snap out of our fear-based paralyzes and take a step towards greatness?

Here are some of my strategies:

1) Become proficient at EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)

I use EFT daily to help overcome all sorts of emotional blocks. Once you learn the basic ‘recipe’ you can use EFT on just about anything.

2) Write down a list of the criticisms you’re most afraid of hearing, and write down who you think might deliver it to you. Then take time to consider what sort of measurable impact this would have on you. If you find it tough to come up with realistic, negative consequences, that should tell you something …. it’s likely an ‘irrational fear’ and you probably won’t ever hear the criticism you’re most worried about.

And finally, I’ll leave you with the same question Seth Godin poses at the end of this section. Consider the following:

‘How can you create something that people will criticize?’

I believe that when we answer this question with total honesty, we’ll really be headed somewhere worth going.

Thoughts?

Have a great week!

Sincerely,

Dave

P.S. I’d love to hear whatever criticism (or feedback) you’ve got. And feel free to help us all out by sharing your best practices for dealing with this sort of fear.

And, IF you feel this post is worthy of any criticism (be it good or bad) go right ahead and share it with all of your ‘Tribes’.

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Tags: EFT, Fear of Failure, Seth Godin, Tribes